Sunday, October 23, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge - My Entry

I have entered the 3rd Campaigner Challenge hosted by Rachael at Rach Writes... The contest guideless are as follows:
Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
  • that it’s morning, 
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).
And here is my entry! I don't expect anything to happen, but it was a fun and creative exercise. Thanks Rach.


Keo knew it was morning because his watch told him so. It beeped six times, indicating the exact hour. She would be here in half an hour. Thirty minutes. Eighteen hundred seconds. Keo liked numbers. 
Beneath his bare toes the sand shifted and sucked. He stood at the edge of the surf, gazing out across the dark, restless waves. The air tasted bitter and stale, like potato chips left out at a picnic. There was a hint of something else in the stirring wind, something darker. Something synbatec.
Folding his skinny legs with their faint dusting of black hair beneath him Keo sat and began to count the bones sticking out of the sand. The surf had picked them clean and rubbed them smooth. He wanted to free them from their sand prison, to collect them and piece them back together one at a time, but that would be Tacise and so he left them untouched.
He smelled her before he saw her. Her scent was of lavender and rot, a familiar perfume that Keo had grown accustomed to over the years. Sometimes it was white oleander, sometimes cinnamon or pine trees, but the rot always lurked just under the surface. Try as they might, the Wastopaneer’s could never wash all the rot away.
“Do you know where you are?” he asked, standing and turning to face the girl. She was thin and pale, with wide blue eyes and purple lips that trembled.
“What happened to the sun?” she whispered, gazing up into the dark sky.
“There is no sun here.”
“If you hold my hand it will be easier,” he said kindly.
Wordlessly the girl stepped forward and clasped his extended hand. She gripped it tightly, wrapping her fingers around his until her knuckles shone white, and together they walked into the waves. 


Anonymous said...

Interesting. I'd have liked it to go on. Mine is #56

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the writing--short, descriptive, and to the point. And now I want to know what happens next! :)

My entry.

Jess said...

Wow I love it! Love your descriptive language! I really want to know more of the story! You've got my vote!

I'm entry #5

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Yours is descriptive and evocative. Highly original. And like the others, I want to know what happens next. Your entry reminded me a verse, "Of the bones you find on the beach, mine are the ones that sing." Lovely entry, Roland

Sheri L. Swift said...

Very intriguing, made me want to turn the page. Nice job using the words; seemed effortless. ; )

Poewin said...

Thanks everyone! I am very glad I stumbled across this group of writers. Everyone is so friendly and smart and helpful, which can be hard to find.

Jen said...

This is a very intriguing entry. I've love to know what happens next!
Mine is #25.

David Powers King said...

Thanks for visiting my place. :)

This flows great! Perfect pacing and imagery, in my opinion. The added touch of mystery at the end was most enjoyable. Excellent work!

K.T. Hanna said...

Love the flow of this piece. Beautiful and dark, your description sucks us in. Would be fantastic to know more, but it sits well on its own.

Margo Kelly said...

Hey! Guess what?! You're moving on to the next round in the judging process. :) Congrats!

:) Margo

Poewin said...

Wow!! Thanks :)

And thank you KT Hannah, Jen & David for the lovely compliments.

KCarey said...

Congrats, your moving on to the Semi Finals in the 3nd Challenge.

Poewin said...

Well this is an exciting day! Thank you!!! :)

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